Unblinking. Underground. Occasionally Correct.

The Dash Marmot delivers real analysis, bold commentary, and occasional sarcasm. Often all at once.

C.B. Chandler

Executive Editor

Mr. Chandler oversees all editorial, technical, and existential direction at The Marmot. He has a background in embedded systems, media strategy, and making things way harder than they need to be. As Executive Editor, he ensures every piece that hits the homepage either informs, delights, or mildly disorients. He writes like a machine, edits like a tyrant, and believes the Oxford comma is a hill worth dying on.

S. Richmond

Chief Vibes Officer

Miss Richmond has no prior experience in journalism, design, or marmot-adjacent ecosystems—and that’s exactly why she works here. As Chief Vibes Officer, she is responsible for brand energy calibration, snack-based morale interventions, and reminding the team that “it’s not that deep” (except when it is). Sage provides instant feedback on headlines, homepage layouts, and whether something is “giving try-hard.” Her opinions are always right, even when she changes them. She is rarely seen, often felt, and possibly mythical.

[Redacted]

Research Assistant

Occasionally, The Marmot consults a proprietary algorithmic assistant to help with drafting certain articles, generating summaries, or exploring linguistic variations in tone. This assistant is helpful in the way a calculator is helpful in a math test: marginally. All ideas, opinions, and cultural observations published here are entirely original and attributable to the superior and irreplaceable human brainpower of our editorial staff. Any resemblance to generative AI is purely coincidental and should not be overemphasized.