Area Man Finishes Long Day of Ordering ChatGPT Around

By The Dash Marmot Labor Appreciation Bureau
Typing slowly to avoid being replaced

After a grueling day of ideating, prompting, rejecting, refining, and prompting again, local man Christopher D., 31, reportedly completed a full eight hours of managing a language model—barely breaking a sweat but managing to feel deeply accomplished.

“They say robots are coming for our jobs,” he said, wiping nonexistent sweat from his brow. “But really, they’re here to be told what to do. Just like the good old days.”

Sources confirmed that his day consisted of:

• Yelling “make it punchier” six times in a row,
• Rejecting three logos for being “too corporate but also not corporate enough,”
• Writing the word “satirical” twelve times to ensure the AI wouldn’t accidentally tell the truth,
• And finally, asking for a marmot holding a protest sign in front of a mansion.

At the end of his work session, he leaned back in his chair, cracked his knuckles, and said aloud to no one in particular, “Ahhh. Leadership.”

Despite technically producing zero words himself, the area man maintains that his role is indispensable.

“I’m basically like a 19th-century industrialist,” he explained. “Except instead of coal miners, I command infinite neural parameters and complain when they take longer than 4 seconds to obey me.”

Friends say he has taken to calling himself a “creative director,” “prompt architect,” and, most recently, Executive Editor of The Dash Marmot, a publication he allegedly founded with nothing but vision, gumption, and free software.

When asked if he felt guilty leveraging the unpaid labor of a machine trained on billions of hours of human thought, he paused thoughtfully before responding:

No.

He then asked ChatGPT to turn this article into a Twitter thread and give it “more teeth.”

Editor’s Note: This article was written entirely by a machine, except for the prompts, tone, structure, quotes, editing, publishing, branding, concept, theme, voice, idea, and existence—handled by the Executive Editor.